How to Deal With a Midlife Crisis [The Midlife Crisis is Crucified!]

“Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.
What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?”
Ecclesiastes 1:1–3

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I’ve recently begun thinking about how to deal with a midlife crisis: I am almost 50.

Wow. My life is more than half over already? I don’t feel as old as I am. My career that provides my identity is at its peak or on the decline. Have I made a difference? Will anyone remember?
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The Ache of Reality

My kids are 18, 17, and 17. One is going off to college this month. The others are right around the corner. Where did the time go?! As I page through our photo album and see just how fast the time has passed my heart sinks and aches to return to the “good ole days.”
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What will my kids do? Will they make the right choices in a dangerous and brutal world? I am losing control and can’t stand it.
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My dad is weak and feeble from cancer and my wife’s father is 90. They might not be around much longer. Why don’t I talk with them more? Why have I taken a lot of my life, time, and relationships for granted?! Why did I assume time would never be an issue? How did I forget people age, grow up, and die? Why did I assume it would always be like the past? How did I let it slip by me so fast?
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The Crisis Grows

The illusion of this nice “American Dream” life is beginning to crumble as I watch loved ones grow up, leave, and die, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I want to turn back the clock, or at least stop it for a while, but I can’t. I am on the same track as they are, but I would rather forget that fact and hide myself in new hobbies, interests, and distractions.
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I want anything and everything that can hide my heart from the merciless march of time but none of them work in the long run; the utter definition of a midlife crisis. They only distract me for another few years making the situation worse later when I finally wake up and face the truth.
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The Retirement Deception

I have the solution. Retirement! One day I will stop working and do everything I have wanted to do. I can rest, read, enjoy leisure time, and travel. But wait. Will I make it or even enjoy it?
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People are getting sick and dying all around me in their 50’s and 60’s. Others have retired but spend most of their time in doctors’ offices. I can’t even count on this! Why is my heart in such turmoil? Why does it seem like something is wrong when this is the way the world is? Why do I worry when I can’t do anything to change it?
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The Effects of a Midlife Crisis

All of these thoughts have run through my mind and heart recently. They can lead to fear, anxiety, depression, and frustration. I have battled all of them on my own and lost. My kids are growing up. My parents are aging fast. The meaningful relationships in my life are slipping away faster than I have realized. Fear of death, anxiety over the unknown, and depression and frustration from a lack of control form the central fire of mid life crisis. What is the answer then?
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The Answer for the Ache

The answer is not a what but Who? Jesus is the answer. Jesus crucifies the midlife crisis! Eternal life destroys the fear of death and reverses the misery of aging. I might be getting older each day, but I am also one step closer to heaven. If I die, I go right into the presence of God and into an existence that is the way it was originally created to be.
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For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
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So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:6–8

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True Reality (and the peace He brings)

Jesus reveals that there is something wrong with this world. He teaches that it is not supposed to be this way, and He is coming back to set things right one day. Death, pain, suffering, aging, etc. are all a result of sin. God didn’t create it this way and isn’t going to leave it this way. How incredibly liberating!!
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Eternity is written on my heart because I was never created or intended to have to deal with all of these issues that cause the midlife crisis. Jesus crucified ALL of them on the cross. All of them. Praise God! Death, disease, time, separation from loved ones, and counting on the things of this world to satisfy me are disarmed and rendered helpless at the cross of God.
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